Honduras has come to a close and we are now in Guatemala. Side note…God actually told me back in June and July that we were going to Guatemala. I had dreams and confirmations from the Lord several times over the summer. At training camp when we were told that we were going to Honduras I was so disappointed because I thought I heard the Lord so clearly. I just brushed it off thinking “i guess it was just me.” Then last Saturday when we were told that we were being moved to Guatemala for our last month here in central America I became so comforted and happy. My confidence in hearing the voice of the Father was renewed. Immediately I heard Him say ” You do hear my voice. You did hear correctly. I don’t ever lie. Trust me.” Therefore, I am so at peace with this transition. God only has our best interest in mind and what a pleasure and honor that He trusts our squad enough to send us to another nation to bless more and invite more into the kingdom…to bring ’em home!
The past 2 months have absolutely flown by. In this time I believe I have already experienced every emotion possible and yet I have only just scraped the surface of walking into the unexpected and unknown. If I could choose words to describe my time thus far it would be faith, trust, and boldness. Through this transition of Honduras to Guatemala I have come to realize how easy I had it back home. Not a day went by that I didn’t walk and live in the reality that I am deeply loved, a daughter and that nothing could stop me….because it was easy. Yes, there were difficult things here and there, but nothing compared to life here. I honestly thought that when I left Tennessee things, spiritually, were going to all of a sudden advance and increase quickly. I assumed the people I was about to spend the next 9 months with were going to be like my community at home and that I would be walking gently hand in hand with the Father at ease. Then…I boarded a plane to Atlanta that would eventually take me to Honduras…
Ever since September 7 it has been far from easy. What I thought and expected was far from the reality of life…. in community with 60 people…. in a foreign country. It is easy to walk in faith when your life is, well, easy. It is easy to walk in faith when you are on top of the world and you do whatever is easiest and pleases you the most…what’s best for yourself. But, what happens when it becomes hard…when your back is up against the wall with spiritual warfare more real than ever? What happens when it is no longer easy to choose joy and thanksgiving? What happens when you live life with 60 very different people and sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to or that are best for someone else and not necessarily yourself? The past two months have been hard. Honestly, the only people I even hung out with back home were people that were similar to me in the way we thought, acted, believed and even worshipped. Now I live life 24/7 with people VERY different from me.
In this time things are coming out of me that I honestly did not even know existed in me. I’ll be honest and say that I have conceived much bitterness and negativity in my heart towards people and things we do for reasons that are just silly. I’ve responded and acted out in hostility, defense and bitterness rather than LOVE and PEACE. It is almost like I am learning how to really walk. It’s easy to learn how to walk when you only walk on a flat surface. I have mastered walking and even running…on the smooth pavement with maybe a few loops and turns. However, it has become difficult to run when the terrain gets rough and even changes to mountains and valleys. I must start over in a sense and begin crawling and even walking this new terrain. I’ve tried to run and I have fallen a lot and run out of fuel much more quickly because I am not used to this terrain quite yet. It’s a whole new ball game. I am just now learning how to crawl up the mountain. Some days I can barely stand on my own two feet. There are even days I wish so badly to go back down to the smooth pavement. But when I get up to a new height and look down, I see how far I have come. It gives me hope to keep going even though it is really difficult at times. I could take the easy and comfortable way out, which is not wrong or bad. However, I would not reach the place the Father ultimately wants me.
Though the journey is hard I am being restored to my original identity. Of course it’s difficult because my flesh is fighting it so hard and the enemy wants to do anything to keep me from the fullness of my identity. The enemy cringes because things are coming out of me that are not of the Father. The enemy cringes because Laura Beth Harbin is not choosing the easy and comfortable road. Laura Beth Harbin is choosing to climb this mountain, both through the smooth flat ground and the uphill rocky land. I am choosing to be refined because I am more precious than gold and the Father has called me up higher! I choose to say no to the enemy, negativity, bitterness, lies, and fear. I choose to say YES to all of Jesus!! I choose to believe in and walk in the rights that I have as a Daughter of the King of Kings. All that is His is mine. I have authority and power to stomp out the enemy, cast out darkness and demons, and usher in the manifest presence of Holy Spirit. Resurrection power lives inside of me. The Kingdom of God is within me! Every where i step i bring kingdom and freedom in the name of Jesus. Each step I take I get closer to the heart of the Father and I am being transformed and renewed from GLORY to GLORY.
Yes, this has been a hard time spiritually. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way though. The past 2 months I have sat around waiting for something to happen…waiting for people to be on the same page as me and even wishing I was on the smooth pavement. Not a good way to go about life, by the way. In that I haven’t been able to experience the fullness that is in each day. Instead of bringing others higher and walking on I have stayed idle and in some sense even allowed myself to be brought a bit lower. But I praise Jesus because just in the past two weeks things have transformed in me. I rejoice in the victories. Victory in realization and overcoming! Victory in speaking out truth and walking in it boldly with trust!
Being in Guatemala is a new height for me. I am looking at what I have just climbed and I can feel the Father’s pleasure over me. He’s saying “look at what you just climbed!!” That gives me hope…hope to keep climbing. It is good. This is so good! I am thankful for the difficulty. I am defeating the enemy by saying YES to Jesus. I am defeating the enemy by saying no to the easy and comfortable and known and expected. I choose to walk boldly into the unknown and unexpected. My hand is interlocked with my Father’s. He goes before me, beside me and behind me. Jesus is enough. My Daddy is faithful!! I walk in the steadfast love and faithfulness of the Father, ALWAYS.
