Nomad.
That's the best way I can describe to you how I am feeling in this current season of life. I am currently living in Hixson, TN which is about 15 minutes outside of Chattanooga. I am officially done with finals and my first semester at UT Chatt. As many know I work at the YMCA as an afterschool counselor on Lookout Mountain. I will be working until the 21st of December, and since I am unable to stay on campus I moved in with my great grandmother, who lives in Hixson.
Being here for the past 3 days has given me time already to just ponder and reflect the past semester, which can I say has gone by way quicker than I expected. Dang!!! So here I am now sitting at a random starbucks that I drove around until I found. This is such a hard place for me to be in right now…yet another transitional season, which are not my greatest. I feel extremely lonely. It seems like no one gets me and on top of that hearing about people telling both me and my paretns that they will not support me due to me not completing college right away absolutely kills me. BUT IF GOD IS FOR ME THAN WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME? The doors God opens NO man can EVER shut!! I cling to Jesus! That is all I know to do in times like this…leaving one chapter and entering into another. I press on. I don't ever want to be found turning around because of mans opinion. There is no turning back for me….Sink or Swim, I am diving in…not even the gates of hell will keep me back…I am going.
I am restless.
Jesus, give me strength to keep following you without looking back! I may be weak, but You are my strength!! I will fail and will fall, but You hold me!! Not for a moment will You ever leave me. You are always Good!! You never fail! The good thing You started in me You will carry out into completion. ITS ALL ABOUT YOU!
I desire for everyone to know that following Jesus is by no means easy. It's hard and it's painful. It's not easy to say yes to a 9 month trip, leaving family friends and college…a life that is just fine here and now. But I DESIRE MORE OF JESUS!!! I only want Him, I only want to love him more!! I want to obey Him because I am so stinkin in love with my Daddy!!! Whatever the cost…I'm going where my Daddy is going. He's my best friend and lover of my soul.
I consider all as loss compared to knowing Him more. I only want Jesus.
