I've grown up hearing about this unfailing God and His everlasting love. It's one thing to hear about it and be able to recite the bible verses about how he never forsakes us and his love never fails yet a totally different thing to believe at your very core without wavering that God is for me, won't abandon and never gives up on me! I didn't truly know this for myself until i was in Swazi. I realized I had not accepted the reality that God is a good Dad that does not fail me, abandon me, leave me alone or stand me up. He doesn't promise something and not come through with it. I have a hard time accepting and believing this for myself because many times I find myself in positions of being left to do something alone, left out, stood up, walked all over, used and abused as a friend. I hate that that is how I feel a lot of the time. Unfortunately in turn I feel like God will do that to me; forget about me, find someone better to use, disappoint me…
Of course I could point you to the specific bible verses that counteract those false feelings and thoughts, but until i truly believe it for myself they're just words on a page. For example ill get excited about something ahead that He has planned and then I make myself stop being excited because I fear the possiblity of dissapointment or failure. But that's the thing about God. He's not your average relationship. He does not fail or Disappoint. He always comes through. His promises are sure. I don't have to fear trusting with everything because I have nothing to lose placing my whole trust in Jesus. This past semester I have learned that God is such a good Daddy!!! He keeps showing me through random things such as bringing up quotes or verses in the craziest times or places, using people, and songs to show me that He's still here and hasn't left yet…or ever will for that matter. He's trustworthy!! I fear trusting Him fully…I fear human approval to be honest…I begin thinking of the "what ifs?" Boy does that get you in a bind if you go down too far that rabbit hole. Holy Spirit knows me too well and has to remind me continually of who He is first and foremost and then who I am in Him because of Jesus. Jesus is true. He does not try and deceive or trick us, he's not going to ever let us walk alone or forget about us!! I mean everything to Him!! He is unable to fail me even if he wanted to. He is an unfailing, tender and compassionate father that continually runs after me!!!! He is for me!!! He will not shame me. He won't forget about me. He will never let me down. He won't leave me hanging. He always brings it to pass and comes through! I can hope in him because he is unfailing and his love lasts forever and ever!!! I'm still learning to let go and trust Jesus. Sure it seems easy in the grand scheme, but when you consider the daily moments it becomes quite difficult to breathe in and say, "I trust you."
More of Jesus, less of me!!!
More of Jesus, less of me!!!
Laura Beth Harbin
